Acceptance

"I really was trying to make it work. In my own way... I guess. It's time to face reality."

-Dexter Morgan

"Akala ko kasi makakatulong ako sa inyong lahat e... Na-realize ko hindi ko pala kayo kayang tulungan lahat. I can try pero dapat tulungan nyo rin sarili nyo. Pumalpak yung tulong ko e. May kanya-kanya kayong problema. Sorry ha?"

-Nathan Matriponio, First Day High

I have learned to accept everything about them and everything that has happened. I am proud to say that I have finally moved on.

I tried... I really tried. With all the problems that we encountered, I presented solutions that I knew would work out but in the end, it didn't. I know I have to be considerate as someone who is in charge of the group. However, I didn't have a choice anymore. The "understanding" grace period was way beyond the limit. I had to become straight forward - I had to be strict. I had to do it even though I'm not that kind of person and even though I knew that some of my actions were wrong. What else can I do? I gave everything I have and I sacrificed a lot and what did I get and feel in return? That it was all wasted. Maybe, just maybe, doing something opposite, say reverse psychology, would make a difference. Unfortunately, nothing good came out of it and still, nothing changed.

You know, we talked many times, as in every after class, and I believe it is the one positive result of this dilemma. I'm fine with it because we communicate and I became more open. We actually understand each other but definitely, our actions didn't prove it. So, there is one last option left, I have to meet them half way - I had to step down.

Now, there is no point in becoming angry or expressing my disappointment. I learned in the past that they are exactly what will happen over and over again. Well, I surrendered already so I am going to live my life and just see this through until it ends.

You can't say I didn't care because all I did was care.

"Nice guys have the toughest jobs, Nathan."

-Investigator Matriponio