Hershel: "Just hold it a little longer. Please?"
My favorite quote comes from Arthur Conan Doyle for his character Sherlock Holmes. It goes this way, "It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important." They definitely are as there are little signs that show and mean something. However, I chose to use a different quote above (from a character in The Walking Dead) as it best describes what I have felt. On one note, both are relevant.
I do not know what happened to me. Maybe I just had cold feet. I understand how my colleagues will react when they learn about my plan, some will be positive while some will be negative. A few understood what I was going through while many still tried to convince me to stay while. Those who understood said it is normal and they went through the same experience when they first started. Some also said that I am still young and that there will still be other opportunities out there.
Last month, these happened continuously: one stopped and one delayed wristwatch before leaving the house, slow moving jeepney while travelling, and I almost tripped while walking. The next day, I was delayed by slow walkers and I got late.
I tried to lessen my overthinking but I cannot deny and ignore these little signs - that this is not for me. Maybe it is just for the moment. I don't know. Maybe not for me ever. I tried to challenge myself and stand strong, I held on a little longer, but it was not that long enough and all I can manage is just for a specific period of time. It may be disappointing to others, I'm grateful for their concern and I will surely miss them, but my limit came and this is where I have to change course. I cannot go any further. I have to re-evaluate myself and my decision-making to find my next journey.
