Little Signs

Hershel: "Just hold it a little longer. Please?"

My favorite quote comes from Arthur Conan Doyle for his character Sherlock Holmes. It goes this way, "It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important." They definitely are as there are little signs that show and mean something. However, I chose to use a different quote above (from a character in The Walking Dead) as it best describes what I have felt. On one note, both are relevant.

 

I do not know what happened to me. Maybe I just had cold feet. I understand how my colleagues will react when they learn about my plan, some will be positive while some will be negative. A few understood what I was going through while many still tried to convince me to stay while. Those who understood said it is normal and they went through the same experience when they first started. Some also said that I am still young and that there will still be other opportunities out there.

 

Last month, these happened continuously: one stopped and one delayed wristwatch before leaving the house, slow moving jeepney while travelling, and I almost tripped while walking. The next day, I was delayed by slow walkers and I got late.

 

I tried to lessen my overthinking but I cannot deny and ignore these little signs - that this is not for me. Maybe it is just for the moment. I don't know. Maybe not for me ever. I tried to challenge myself and stand strong, I held on a little longer, but it was not that long enough and all I can manage is just for a specific period of time. It may be disappointing to others, I'm grateful for their concern and I will surely miss them, but my limit came and this is where I have to change course. I cannot go any further. I have to re-evaluate myself and my decision-making to find my next journey.

He Shall Return*

For the last week of October, my scheduled changed with Monday and Tuesday as my rest days. Little did I know that a colleague of mine will be leaving for another road to travel and yes, also literally, because it is another journey.

I already had an idea that it will come soon but no specific date was mentioned. So, on my second day of off was his last day in the office. Everyone else was able to celebrate with him because that day was also our pay day.

Then, the first week of November came and again, my schedule changed. In this line of business, flexibility in time is needed because that is how it works. With this, my rest days moved as well to Tuesday and Wednesday.

While watching early in the morning in Philippine standard time (as I am following American time), I received a message and it is from him. He was asking if I have a duty and I told him that it was my off.

Well, that was two times in a row that I am at home when he was in the office. I may not have seen him before his adventure but I reached to him through text. Well, we will just see each other someday. We may have just met for a short period of time but I am blessed to have a great family in our wave.

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*Based from the famous line of General Douglas MacArthur only that this is on a second person point of view and it is for Mark Anthony a.k.a. Mac

Push Up

I have tried push ups at school during P.E. classes and sometimes at home when I exercise, all of which are done the way push ups are done by most people. Today, was a first: I tried  push ups while someone was sitting on my back. Take note, however, that it was part of a dare and the circumstance is for fun.

 

We were playing a game because our volunteer duties are coming to an end as the event itself comes to a conclusion. Same day as its last day is the birthday of our supervisor. We have come to celebrate it with simple bonding moments.

 

With this body type, even though the game master was not entirely sitting on me (as claimed) and had requested only five, push up was not easy. Haha! Everybody laughed, cheered, and enjoyed. This new experience, with newly met people, is worth our while.

I had a fun night.

A Number of Test

The last day of Civil Service Exam Review (courtesy of LPU CAS Faculty) officially ended last Friday, April 04. As night fell, the question that normally grow on regular days grew as well this time, am I ready for the actual exam?

After the pre- and post-test, the lessons I have learned over the course of my educational background since pre-school is once again put into challenge and the results were just quite satisfactory. I got 59/85 in the first and I might not know my score in the latter. This means to say that my knowledge expertise over a particular topic is inconsistent wherein for a regular three-unit minor subject during class, I usually get higher score.

That is seconded by CEM (Center for Educational Measurement) tests I took during high school. For four years, the results varied for English, Mathematics, and Science. Once, I got higher in English than in the two. Another time, I excelled better in Mathematics than in the two. This shows that I can actually do well in anything if I put my mind into it but I just will never get everything all at the same time. It is like saying to get a high score for one, I have to sacrifice the other scores to be just average.

The day of the Civil Service Exam came and my mother and I arrived in the venue at almost exactly 6:30am, the call time. The exam started by 8am and the examiner decided to brief us of do's and dont's only by that time so our three hours and ten minutes time alloted for answering lost by more or less twenty-five minutes. So wise in using one and a half hour of preparing when that itself had excess time.

Overall, I answered all the items. Like everyone else, on some items I am sure of my answers while on others I was not. For the remaining, I totally guessed around twenty items because I had no time to solve or properly go back after I skipped them.

After all the tests I took since I was young, I don't know why suddenly my anxiousness activated. I had my dilemmas before but sitting on a chair for so long and just answering a test made me grow tired. As a result, I don't know if I did so well. The goal was achieved - complete the test - but there is no telling how high I will get.

This is just a number of test among the tests we have in life: the test exam itself and how we will overcome the test problem of answering the exam when the exam itself has a lot of problems to be solved. Expect more in the real world because graduation is next and a new chapter of tests will come - some are like what we have encountered before while some are new.

SEW Hard*

Today was the first day of the Civil Service Exam Review, the first day of experiencing work environment continuously. Three more days left and let us see if I can do this.

The review is from April 1-4, from 8am to 4pm. This means to say that I wake up early but might go home late. Doing it for four days is an exercise to the future of working everyday. No more vacation, just rest day... or if lucky, rest days. Go to work, go home, go to work, go home, and so on. Will I still have time for barkada or family getaways? I will become exhausted but I know I must continue because it takes a lot of effort before I become stable and regular.

In relation to that idea, on my home a while ago, a random thought came to me that I want to make an entry about it. The idea is very common but I just like to document my experience of it.

I have been working before on a project-basis so I already know how it feels even though they have time gaps. When there is not enough manpower, we can be summoned and it was a nice experience. However, the allowance that we earned for taking part in the event does not match the energy we exerted in accomplishing our tasks. Today, I am still a student but I am done with going to school. I am just waiting for our graduation. As they say, we are grad-waiting. I am going to school but for a different reason. It is still studying but it is no longer required.

My mother still gives me allowance because I am yet to look for my job. My work before was an eye opener to what lies ahead of our field. Back then, I still had the luxury to spend for wants and needs without fear of empty pockets. We are provided financially. Today is different. We are nearing the period wherein parents are still providing money but it is now just for the mean time that I search for a job. When I work, it will be my own money that I use not only for myself but also for my family.

We really have to work hard because spending is simple and easy but earning those money before we get what we like other than our needs, we have to sweat and use our strength. That is one slice of life. Now I realized how hard it will become for me by experiencing it myself and not just watching my mom and brother go home, sleep, wake up, and go to work day by day.

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*SEW Hard - may also signify "to stitch for the life you want" but the first thing it means is "Spend Easy, Work Hard"

Grad Prep: Tie and Shades

This day ends with me acquiring these basic accessories that will also help in achieving the look I want to imitate - sunglass and necktie.

 

 

As I have shared in my previous entry entitled "Grad Prep: New Hairstyle," I am going for an Artemis Fowl look. This cover design basis is from Eoin Colfer's last book of the series.

 

Today, finally, is the right time for me to complete my preparation; this is what's left on my plate now. The necessary haircut has been achieved last month, thanks to the help of my friend. I'll leave the hairstyling to the artist. But for the remaining elements, I was able to locate a similar necktie - neon green. This gives me delight and pleasure to actually portray the character completely. Although for the eyeglass part, it looks more like goggles, I found a fit alternative - round sunglasses.

 

I can't wait for the day... photoshoot, here I come!

Grad Prep: New Hairstyle

How often do I prepare for a legit photoshoot? Come one! More or less five only. Now is another chance to showcase how I want to be seen in our yearbook.

 

I do not have to worry about my picture in graduation toga and in business attire. Those are provided in the set. Creative shot, however, needs more preparation. But as it turns out, I can still manage to achieve what I had in mind by sticking to simplicity yet appearing grand.

 

As early as December 2013, some students have already made an appointment to schedule their pictorial. Since I was not part of that first group, I have not given my style that much thought. I don't want to be stressed out for something I can think about later on. I had to do the first things first.

 

I tried to think simple, something that will look impressive (like in a cosplay convention) but still grounded on simplicity. Only two was shorlisted as I was looking for options.

 

A) An anime character - Kaito Kid:

 

B) A book character - Artemis Fowl:

 

After much deliberation, I went with Artemis because as I listed the pros and cons, his look is more achievable with what I presently have. I know that I won't be disappointed. The appeal of this shot excites me on executing this to a reality. I'd also like to try a Kaito Kid imitation, but I guess that can be planned in the near future. Right now, I'll focus on this photoshoot. You know, cosplay can be a hobby that is very expensive. I can only do so one at a time.

 

The first step is getting a haircut, which becomes something new to me as I will be asking for a style I haven't tried yet. Growing up, I only chose between a crew cut and a barber's cut. Now, I will take the mushroom style. I don't know how to present this kind of hair on a daily basis but this change is quite good. I'm liking it. I'm just not sure how often I'll have this kind of haircut. We'll see!