Taken for Granted

"...Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in the trash

You tossed it in the trash, you did..."

-Bruno Mars, Grenade

On one event that we had, one of the many things that I picked up from the speakers is the thought that we should surround ourselves with people who will lift us up, not bring us down. So, imagine a life like that. Isn't it amazing, a great feeling to know that you are supported? Apparently, it won't happen all the time.

In relation to the quotes you see at the beginning and at the end of this entry, this is how I feel at the moment. This entry is also related to an entry I had last month. I cannot conclude that they will do the same things I do for them but definitely this is true for me. Unless they prove to me that what I'm thinking is wrong, then, that would be a lot better.

 

"...I put you high up in the sky

And now, you're not coming down.

It slowly turned, you let me burn

And now, we're ashes on the ground..."

-Miley Cyrus, Wrecking Ball

Advancing Technology

Advancing technology has touched the field of print media bringing in what is called as ebook.

I must tell you, I downloaded a lot of them before, but as I have mentioned in an old entry, I had a hard time reading on monitor. Then, recently, I found myself downloading again. In the past, I downloaded a lot for safekeeping and somehow, it did not work out so I avoided them. A long time has passed since I've collected and read. So, why not try again, right?

My interest in ebooks sparked again because I saw this Jack the Ripper book and had a battle with myself. I like the book, it is cheap, but should I really buy it? I searched the web and was amazed to find an ebook version. With that, I had to decide whether I'm going to grab the hard copy or go for the free one. I made my decision and I chose to get the softcopy.

I finally found their usefulness. I finally learned their value so I’m now making use of them. Hey, I have to say, it pretty much saves a lot of money. I weigh from time to time if I actually want to have a hard copy of a particular title and if I answer no, then, I choose the ebook and I can save money for another one that I find interesting. After all, I only have to invest in time (to look for titles and download them) and electricity (of my computer in searching and of my gadget used for reading).

Learning that National Bookstore is also promoting ebook, I did my research and learned that they made a partnership with Kobo for people to have options. At first, I had doubts how the print media will survive nowadays. Thinking deep enough, I believe that with the new technologies that are arising, print will not vanish, As someone from NBS stated, they are still the National Bookstore. They said that all they wanted was to provide choices for their customers and it is good. In the end, it is still about reading. Their business benefits from the alliance, but the main topic and goal is providing reading materials, things that entertains us or educates us, or both. Read on!

I Know...

I have high respect for people who have different belief. I know that at this point of time, people are celebrating something that varies from one religion to the other. I know it, trust me. I know that what we will be visiting are just remains. I am not giving importance to what’s left physically stored in boxes, but it was my personal decision to continue my visit because I want to spend some time to remember them. How often do I do that? Guess what? I got more. I was able to meet the others and bond. I was tired but I am contented. It wasn’t a waste of time.

Acceptance

"I really was trying to make it work. In my own way... I guess. It's time to face reality."

-Dexter Morgan

"Akala ko kasi makakatulong ako sa inyong lahat e... Na-realize ko hindi ko pala kayo kayang tulungan lahat. I can try pero dapat tulungan nyo rin sarili nyo. Pumalpak yung tulong ko e. May kanya-kanya kayong problema. Sorry ha?"

-Nathan Matriponio, First Day High

I have learned to accept everything about them and everything that has happened. I am proud to say that I have finally moved on.

I tried... I really tried. With all the problems that we encountered, I presented solutions that I knew would work out but in the end, it didn't. I know I have to be considerate as someone who is in charge of the group. However, I didn't have a choice anymore. The "understanding" grace period was way beyond the limit. I had to become straight forward - I had to be strict. I had to do it even though I'm not that kind of person and even though I knew that some of my actions were wrong. What else can I do? I gave everything I have and I sacrificed a lot and what did I get and feel in return? That it was all wasted. Maybe, just maybe, doing something opposite, say reverse psychology, would make a difference. Unfortunately, nothing good came out of it and still, nothing changed.

You know, we talked many times, as in every after class, and I believe it is the one positive result of this dilemma. I'm fine with it because we communicate and I became more open. We actually understand each other but definitely, our actions didn't prove it. So, there is one last option left, I have to meet them half way - I had to step down.

Now, there is no point in becoming angry or expressing my disappointment. I learned in the past that they are exactly what will happen over and over again. Well, I surrendered already so I am going to live my life and just see this through until it ends.

You can't say I didn't care because all I did was care.

"Nice guys have the toughest jobs, Nathan."

-Investigator Matriponio

The Big Shift

I am caught by the surprise that my interest went from novels to other reading materials by just a blink. Nevertheless, I think this big shift is a great thing.

I have a lot of novels that are on "bench" because I'm on the process of collecting books but has not enough time to read them. I don't regret that. I do that to those books that I've looked for so long, those that I do not want to let go of. At least, I already have them and come the time that I'm available, I can easily reach and grab them and start right away. Suddenly, my interest went to official movie companion, mass communication, art, comics, self development, and magazines among others.

As of now, they are starting to compile on my bookshelves and I like the idea because change is good from time to time. Cheers! :))

Hear Me Out

Yesterday, I finally had the chance to have a proper consultation. I really didn't expect to feel light after the conversation and that's what happened because I've been talking about the same thing with other people. The good thing here is that people listen and I gained different kinds of advice  I hope this dilemma can be solved as soon as possible so that I can go on again normally.

Push Your Luck?

Playing again in an amusement park after quite some time proved to me that it reflects the reality. Yesterday was a random Monday night out with friends. These are the following lessons I gained:

1. Bingo - I've learned in my class under Sir David Nye that I have no luck in gambling. It is a fact at times for at least there are still moments that I get lucky. This tells us that we should not take chances in the present because it can affect our future. We should plan ahead.

2. Arcade - Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. In the end, it depends on your performance. Hence, in reality, if you want to keep winning, strive harder.

3. Racing - I was the first in the beginning but I wasn't able to maintain it. I ended up as the last racer. There are times that I won't always be on the top. Therefore, if you want to keep leading, focus and be consistent.

So, do you still want to push your luck? The choice is yours.

It Is Time

So this is how it feels? It’s nice. At first, I was really nervous. But after a while, it slowly faded. I got used to it. There’s nothing new actually. It was like it was just normal. It is likable. But once is enough. I've learned my lesson. It won’t happen again.

Moving On...

To be able to fix my malfunctioning Nokia 1680c phone, the repairman said that everything had to be restarted because while repairing it, it still malfunctioned. How about that?

After finishing the job he was supposed to do, yes, my phone was fixed but it comes with the fact that everything it had is now gone... forever. I have made peace with that. PAST IS PAST. I don't regret losing everything it had. I don’t remember them all anyway but clearly, I have moved on. It was a nice feeling, actually. Letting go and moving on from all those messages of pain, of suffering, of hurting others via group messages. Even those of getting to know each other better are now behind me. The important thing is that I still have communication with my friends and all that matters is NOW. Moving on... :P

Here I Go

I am now officially a registered voter. It's time to apply every thing I have learned and still learning.

Healing

I already have enough wounds and pains to recuperate from. I won't take any more for now.

Understand

Why? Is it hard to understand? Why can't some people just understand the fact that I am a terrible liar? That it really bothers me to do something not truthful? That it is hard for me... that it makes me feel so down and weak and uneducated. Why can't you see that? Why can't I just say it? I want you to feel... to be sensitive... to be observant. I am not that type of person and I hope that you could just simply respect that without asking any more further questions.

Can You Feel It?

Do you know how I feel? Oh, that's right, you don't. How come I was able to say that? It's because you never felt a thing, have you? Do you even really care about me? You've been insensitive in my eyes!

Go ahead. I'll just let you bug me with your same repeating questions. You heard me. Just relax there and I'll do everything for you people. I'll put my name and my reputation on the line while you are enjoying your life.

You know, it's a good thing that even if you don't help, I have people I can approach and ask for help. Lucky for me because if I don't have, well good luck to me. I'm probably wasted by now.

One thing I can say is, it's a good thing that I know self-preservation. I don't know what would happen if I'm not. I just won''t let anyone corrupt me that easily. So you better take note of this, you cannot easily persuade me. You're going to have to exert a lot of effort to make me change my mind from what I've decided.

Trust... it's a hard thing to gain back once you broke it so I'm keeping it for myself so that in the end, when everything falls apart, I'll be standing and surviving.

Work

Everyone does lots of things. No matter where we go, work will always follow us. I myself is trying to balance everything because you know, in each aspect of life, there are different responsibilities.

I am tired. I don't know if people notice it, but I am. You will see it in my thinness already. Hahahahaha! XD

But what can I do? People depend on me, but at times I cannot depend on them. What shall I do?

Work is kind of a training ground, whether it is an improvement or an obstacle. After all, it is a challenge, a trial. It's for you. It is an obstacle for your improvement.

Being good in class, I advice other people who excel in every field this: yes, you may be able to do lots of things, but remember that your capacity has a limit too. Do not exceed beyond the line. You may have the brains to think of them, but what can you do if your body is weak and your health is at risk?

You cannot do everything. You may offer your help in some activities. Give yourself a break sometimes. Do not wait for what my sunflower's vase says,

"I had a life; my job ate it."

Learn from it. It has a hidden meaning to reflect upon. :))

Patience

Waiting is such a long thing to do. But you know what? It's worth your while. As you do it, you will learn many things. Just always remember that in the end, you'll get what's right and what's good. Your patience will be rewarded accordingly. Sometimes, while you are waiting, you may use the time to relax, to unwind, to reflect, to appreciate yourself, your blessings, your environment. You say you easily get bored? Try it so that you'll know how it feels. No matter be it happiness, sadness, anger, irritability, YOU WILL DEFINITELY LEARN A LESSON. Try it and experience it.

"God has perfect timing; never early, never late. It takes a little patience and it takes a lot of faith, but it's worth the wait."

Trust God. :D

Honesty and Truthfulness

Many of us see in films and maybe through our friends' experiences that being honest and truthful may lead to pain. As they say, "truth hurts." But for this day, I thank God because people have been honest and we've been truthful and so, misunderstanding got fixed. If only others will experience this, they will know that it's always good to tell the truth.

Don't Put a Period, Yet

A while ago, I was in front of room 325, Photography Lab, between 9-10 am waiting for my class. As time was passing by and as I was finishing my homework for 11:30 class, a woman was walking, then her make up kit fell.  It made such mess that it's too noticeable because 1, it's powder, and 2, it's colored [I guess (I didn't see it clearly. I have poor eyesight. Besides, all of the contents spilled)].

She picked up the container and walked on forward. I thought, wow! You're just going to leave it there like that? Why not kick the powder towards the side so that it won't bother other students? Seconds later,  she went back holding tissue. She just placed her things in front her classroom with her classmate, then cleaned up a little the mess that was made.

I jumped to conclusion. I always think "expect the unexpected" and yet I placed a period right away. I made a mistake and I won't deny that. The good thing is that I learned that some Lycean still care enough for some small things such as that.

Another Sophomore Year

We encounter freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior years twice: in high school and in college. Tomorrow, our first semester class for A.Y. 2011-2012 at LPU - Manila will officially start and I'm already done with my second freshman year. Tomorrow, I'll start the day of another sophomore year.

For me, just for me, I don't know to you and the others, college life is a lot like high school. Some subjects you encountered back in high school are still there, but there are additional more regarding the course you've taken. There are still challenges which are more difficult compare to high school because college level is where the life of an individual starts. High school level is just a preparation before facing college.

No matter what happens, whether we get high marks or fail, the important thing is that we learn. At times, we would also encounter failure. We won't always win. We will also lose. And it's better to encounter failure because you would know how it feels. It's part of life. Don't miss it. It will make you even more determined to achieve your goals because you will have in mind that you wouldn't want to feel that again. And even if you fail again, stand up. Always do your best and keep on trying. Learn from all the experiences that will come your way.

The Bookmark

This small piece of paper has something written on it on the other side. I won't tell you what it is. All I can say is that it's from my crush and she doesn't know that I use this whenever I read. She's very cool, she's smart, she's beautiful. She rocks in her own way. :D

I have been consistently using this since high school since it very efficient. Its light weight and thinness makes my book still be in shape. The books I read don't open by itself because they do when I use large bookmarks.

That's all. Bow! XD