Acceptance

"I really was trying to make it work. In my own way... I guess. It's time to face reality."

-Dexter Morgan

"Akala ko kasi makakatulong ako sa inyong lahat e... Na-realize ko hindi ko pala kayo kayang tulungan lahat. I can try pero dapat tulungan nyo rin sarili nyo. Pumalpak yung tulong ko e. May kanya-kanya kayong problema. Sorry ha?"

-Nathan Matriponio, First Day High

I have learned to accept everything about them and everything that has happened. I am proud to say that I have finally moved on.

I tried... I really tried. With all the problems that we encountered, I presented solutions that I knew would work out but in the end, it didn't. I know I have to be considerate as someone who is in charge of the group. However, I didn't have a choice anymore. The "understanding" grace period was way beyond the limit. I had to become straight forward - I had to be strict. I had to do it even though I'm not that kind of person and even though I knew that some of my actions were wrong. What else can I do? I gave everything I have and I sacrificed a lot and what did I get and feel in return? That it was all wasted. Maybe, just maybe, doing something opposite, say reverse psychology, would make a difference. Unfortunately, nothing good came out of it and still, nothing changed.

You know, we talked many times, as in every after class, and I believe it is the one positive result of this dilemma. I'm fine with it because we communicate and I became more open. We actually understand each other but definitely, our actions didn't prove it. So, there is one last option left, I have to meet them half way - I had to step down.

Now, there is no point in becoming angry or expressing my disappointment. I learned in the past that they are exactly what will happen over and over again. Well, I surrendered already so I am going to live my life and just see this through until it ends.

You can't say I didn't care because all I did was care.

"Nice guys have the toughest jobs, Nathan."

-Investigator Matriponio

The Bay Harbor Butcher*

"I was filled with dread at the thought that my mind had skipped town

and left me behind to pay the rent."

...and I'm done! Reading this book until the last page was very entertaining. I am interested with Dexter's character and so, I was interested to find how things will go for him. I also would like to add that along the way, he provided thoughts that are funny for me. There's no question that I'll continue reading.

That's it for now. What can I do? I don't know what else to say because until now, I am fascinated by the story that it left me speechless. Well, until the next entry. Cheers!

"I was completely unable to fling my giant brain at the problem

and catch a solution as it bounced back.

The mind picks some very bad times to take a walk, doesn't it?"

------------------------------------------------------------------

*The Bay Harbor Butcher - the term given by the press to the serial killer alter ego of Dexter

The Big Shift

I am caught by the surprise that my interest went from novels to other reading materials by just a blink. Nevertheless, I think this big shift is a great thing.

I have a lot of novels that are on "bench" because I'm on the process of collecting books but has not enough time to read them. I don't regret that. I do that to those books that I've looked for so long, those that I do not want to let go of. At least, I already have them and come the time that I'm available, I can easily reach and grab them and start right away. Suddenly, my interest went to official movie companion, mass communication, art, comics, self development, and magazines among others.

As of now, they are starting to compile on my bookshelves and I like the idea because change is good from time to time. Cheers! :))

Still the Best Policy

As my brother leaves for a job interview, my mother reminded him of some pointers while at it. Hearing her words, it came to my mind the famous saying that "honesty is the best policy."

In my case, I only care a little of what the result will become for as long as I know that what I did was necessary, that I was true to myself.

During my third year college in second semester, a professor in one of my class told us, (actually, it was directed to me for even though it is a group work, my name, face, and fingerprints are all over my work; very distinct to trace it back to me) not to narrate, to just give what we have. In my work's context, it simply means don't be so honest.

In my defense, I don't regret it because I learned what I need to learn. I know how and when to be professional. I didn't regret taking the risk. My grade somehow got affected by it but I know being honest will get me way far ahead in the long run than what was said.

Honesty's result can be proved in the same timeline in another subject. The professor even said, "It's good that you're honest. At least I know."

See the difference?

This is different in my mentality that when someone borrows something from me, I tell them I don't have it. Why? It's because what's the difference if I tell you I have and then I won't lend it to you? The reason for this is I am very careful of my things and sad to say, I stereotype to all that however neat it maybe when I give it to them, the truth is it will not always return the same way and it hurts me a lot because for the long time that I had it with me, it never occurred to me to damage it and that's just what others will do.

The bottomline? It's still a case to case basis. What I'm trying to say is be honest in things that really matter. Take a risk, but not over the relationship that you've already built with them. Weigh things because most often than not, honesty is STILL the best policy.

Dexter

Garrett: You don’t have a dark side.

Theresa: Sure I do. Everyone does.
It’s just that when you’re around, it
likes to keep itself hidden.

-excerpt from "Message in the Bottle"
by Nicholas Sparks

This is totally awesome. I love the character; it is very brilliant.

A friend of mine once said that it is brutal, but I find it very, very interesting now that I've already watched it. Okay, I admit it - tt is sort of brutal, but I don't mind it at all. In some ways, I am similar to him but I tell you for sure that I do not drive a dark passenger.

I came to view this story in series because of my brother and now that I want it, I downloaded eBooks to find out how it was first written and I discovered that its structure is equally magnificent. It is a poetic narration from a first person point-of-view as another friend described it and I agree with that.

Now, in relation to the aforementioned conversation from another book, it is reflected in the character of Dexter, a "very neat monster" as Jeffry Lindsay puts it in his book series in which the first one was entitled "Darkly Dreaming Dexter." I will create a separate entry once I finish reading it.

Though the story is bloody, a lot of lessons can be truly learned. Even those that you already know will be better realized and reinforced.

Viewer discretion is still advise because definitely, its content is for mature audience.

BG MSC* of Our Lives

How do we compare the music then and now?

It cannot be denied that in other countries, US most specially, music has far greater development now in contrast to before and in our country.

Music helps us cope up with any problems in life because as simple as listening to them, we can relate to the lyrics. Whatever mood we are in at the moment, we somehow choose the music that goes along with it - something we can call background music of our lives. It greatly affects us, or me for this matter. On the point of view of listeners or audiences, it provides inspiration. On the point of view of the artist, they profit, promote the industry, and express themselves all at the same time.

If music before relay messages that people want to convey, they do more nowadays because people tend to be liberal because it is in their culture. They tell more stories about sex as what I have noticed, a bit worse and worrisome because the topic is not pleasant to the minds of the young people.

We have a lot of variation to choose from (genres as we call them) but as users of this kind of media, we still have to be careful.

"...Music makes the people come together..."

-Madonna

------------------------------------------------------------------

*BG MSC - background music; abbreviation used in scripts

Hear Me Out

Yesterday, I finally had the chance to have a proper consultation. I really didn't expect to feel light after the conversation and that's what happened because I've been talking about the same thing with other people. The good thing here is that people listen and I gained different kinds of advice  I hope this dilemma can be solved as soon as possible so that I can go on again normally.