A Number of Test

The last day of Civil Service Exam Review (courtesy of LPU CAS Faculty) officially ended last Friday, April 04. As night fell, the question that normally grow on regular days grew as well this time, am I ready for the actual exam?

After the pre- and post-test, the lessons I have learned over the course of my educational background since pre-school is once again put into challenge and the results were just quite satisfactory. I got 59/85 in the first and I might not know my score in the latter. This means to say that my knowledge expertise over a particular topic is inconsistent wherein for a regular three-unit minor subject during class, I usually get higher score.

That is seconded by CEM (Center for Educational Measurement) tests I took during high school. For four years, the results varied for English, Mathematics, and Science. Once, I got higher in English than in the two. Another time, I excelled better in Mathematics than in the two. This shows that I can actually do well in anything if I put my mind into it but I just will never get everything all at the same time. It is like saying to get a high score for one, I have to sacrifice the other scores to be just average.

The day of the Civil Service Exam came and my mother and I arrived in the venue at almost exactly 6:30am, the call time. The exam started by 8am and the examiner decided to brief us of do's and dont's only by that time so our three hours and ten minutes time alloted for answering lost by more or less twenty-five minutes. So wise in using one and a half hour of preparing when that itself had excess time.

Overall, I answered all the items. Like everyone else, on some items I am sure of my answers while on others I was not. For the remaining, I totally guessed around twenty items because I had no time to solve or properly go back after I skipped them.

After all the tests I took since I was young, I don't know why suddenly my anxiousness activated. I had my dilemmas before but sitting on a chair for so long and just answering a test made me grow tired. As a result, I don't know if I did so well. The goal was achieved - complete the test - but there is no telling how high I will get.

This is just a number of test among the tests we have in life: the test exam itself and how we will overcome the test problem of answering the exam when the exam itself has a lot of problems to be solved. Expect more in the real world because graduation is next and a new chapter of tests will come - some are like what we have encountered before while some are new.

SEW Hard*

Today was the first day of the Civil Service Exam Review, the first day of experiencing work environment continuously. Three more days left and let us see if I can do this.

The review is from April 1-4, from 8am to 4pm. This means to say that I wake up early but might go home late. Doing it for four days is an exercise to the future of working everyday. No more vacation, just rest day... or if lucky, rest days. Go to work, go home, go to work, go home, and so on. Will I still have time for barkada or family getaways? I will become exhausted but I know I must continue because it takes a lot of effort before I become stable and regular.

In relation to that idea, on my home a while ago, a random thought came to me that I want to make an entry about it. The idea is very common but I just like to document my experience of it.

I have been working before on a project-basis so I already know how it feels even though they have time gaps. When there is not enough manpower, we can be summoned and it was a nice experience. However, the allowance that we earned for taking part in the event does not match the energy we exerted in accomplishing our tasks. Today, I am still a student but I am done with going to school. I am just waiting for our graduation. As they say, we are grad-waiting. I am going to school but for a different reason. It is still studying but it is no longer required.

My mother still gives me allowance because I am yet to look for my job. My work before was an eye opener to what lies ahead of our field. Back then, I still had the luxury to spend for wants and needs without fear of empty pockets. We are provided financially. Today is different. We are nearing the period wherein parents are still providing money but it is now just for the mean time that I search for a job. When I work, it will be my own money that I use not only for myself but also for my family.

We really have to work hard because spending is simple and easy but earning those money before we get what we like other than our needs, we have to sweat and use our strength. That is one slice of life. Now I realized how hard it will become for me by experiencing it myself and not just watching my mom and brother go home, sleep, wake up, and go to work day by day.

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*SEW Hard - may also signify "to stitch for the life you want" but the first thing it means is "Spend Easy, Work Hard"